Expecting the Unexpected

I live in Uganda. And in Uganda, the world spins quickly. Today I might be playing with children, teaching teenagers, washing dishes, and sweating in the hot sun. The next day, I might be sitting in a famous man's living room talking about football. And the next day, I might be walking seven miles to do campus evangelism all day. I'm learning to expect the unexpected. I'm learning to enjoy being flexible. Sometimes a long anticipated program gets cancelled, and I feel disappointed. But sometimes I'm having a challenging day and suddenly I'm invited to a friends' house to watch a movie. And what is the lesson I'm learning in the midst of this? Be content in every circumstance. Don't wish you were somewhere else if God has put you where you are. Look for the little things that make every moment beautiful. One conversation may be all it takes for a child to learn to trust you. And now that child's life will never be the same. I'm faced with options constantly concerning who I should talk to and interact with. But the thing is, sometimes if I just stand still for a few moments, God shows me what's next. Someone I knew once wished that God would give her a ten year plan for her life. That way she could prepare for what's next. But as nice as that might seem, God rarely ever gives us a ten year plan. Rather, He leads us moment by moment, teaching us to trust Him for everything. When we don't know what's next, we lean all the more on the One who does. May we live our lives fully expecting the beautiful unexpected, learning to trust in the only One who knows what's next. 

What is He Doing?

 What is He Doing? That’s been the big question in my life recently. What is God doing? The things He is putting me through make no sense. Why would He tell me to move to Uganda now and then stop me three days before, telling me to go later? Does God lie to us? I know that the answer to that is no, but sometimes I just wonder. What’s He doing? During this struggle, I’ve felt distant from God. It’s like I’m angry with Him, yet I know I shouldn’t be. My mind and heart are in a constant battle. One knows the truth, while the other feels differently. 

So, what is God doing? Finally, an answer came to me yesterday. I had heard this answer before, but it never really sunk in until just hours ago. I don’t know what He’s doing, and the thing is, I don’t need to. I don’t need to know why God stopped me. All I need to do is continue on trying to serve Him. That’s it. I am not God. And what I mean by that is that I don’t need to know the things only God knows. He sees everything from a different perspective. For example, I’ve been to the ocean many times in my life, and one time in particular was very recent. I got to go to the beach and swim in some very turbulent waters (there was a lifeguard on duty though and I was never in any real danger). The waves were so enormous. As I stood neck deep in the ocean, wave after wave crashing over me, I would sometimes be completely covered and swept under the water by these huge waves. They were very powerful. And I couldn’t see over them. One would come. And that would be all I could see until it was passed. Then another would come. Of course, I was having a ton of fun swimming in the waves, but it was easy for me to see how limited my vision was. All I could see was the one wave. But when I would stand on the shore, gazing out over the ocean, I could see all of the waves at the same time. God can see all of the waves. But we, human beings, can only see the one in front of us. God sees the whole picture. We see just a part of it. So, we should trust Him. Wouldn’t you rather get directions for where to swim from the One who sees all of the waves compared to the person swimming right next to you?

 

Finally, I broke through all of my bitterness towards God just yesterday. My heart melted and I surrendered to Him anew. He loves me. He loves me so much. And I know that. He may have taken away what I thought was most important, for now at least. But that helped me remember that truly only God is most important. And God is my only hope. If he took everything from me, I would be fine. If He took my health, my future, my family, anything, I would still be ok. Why? Because God is all that I need to have joy. And the good news is, I ALREADY HAVE HIM! So I’m set for life, AND eternity!!! 

Purpose

 As the hours count down and the moments pass, I'm realizing all the more how quickly our time on earth ends. Eternity must be in our minds constantly. Now is not forever. But one day, it will be. One day, every little mistake and flaw in our physical lives will be changed into beauty. Why worry about how we look? Why worry about how much stuff we have? Why strive to gain money when all of these things will not be taken with us into eternity? Turn your eyes off of this world. There are more important things to spend our energy on. Let us stretch out our hands to lift up the crippled. Let us bend down and hug the forgotten. Let us spread the relationship we have with Christ to others too. Can you imagine every breath being spent on others? Can you fathom every heart beat given to God? This is how it is supposed to be. This doesn't mean there will be no laughter or fun. We can still laugh, joke, and play. But we must always remember Christ. We are Christians, Christ followers. We have a purpose. There is a plan. I want to live for Him. I want to die for Him. My life, my love, I give to Thee, Thou Lamb of God who died for me. And may I ever faithful be, my Savior and my God. 

The Inkwells

 I have a very precious friend (known as E. G. Runyan publicly) who has an awesome website that she and a few other friends have created. I wanted to add the website’s link here for anyone who is interested to check it out. I’m blown away by the creativity these awesome people have! God blesses us with gifts, and sometimes those gifts seem difficult to turn back to Him for His glory. But The Inkwells does a great job of creating a fun, Christian environment. 

https://jonathan2886.wixsite.com/inkwells

Tickets are Booked!!!

Recently I booked my tickets for my move to Uganda! I just realized I hadn’t updated very many people on this recent change. My departure date is June 9th. I don’t plan on returning to the States until January of 2022. This is a huge leap and a scary change. But I feel completely at peace in my heart as I remember this is God’s will for me. He knows best. Yes, things will be hard. But God will be with me and that is enough to give me great peace. 

For my first 20 days in Uganda, I will be a part of a short term mission team. After that, I and my friend, Kallie, will move into a host family’s home. We will then begin working at the local crisis pregnancy center and gain some experience. Kallie will be heading back to the States in September. After that point, I will be alone (as the only American). Of course, plans may change, and I’ll do my best to keep everyone updated. 

Please continue praying for safe travels, steady plans, and great peace for all involved. This move will be life changing. If you, or anyone you know, would like to receive more consistent email updates, please shoot me an email at heusestheweak@gmail.com letting me know. I’d be happy to add you to the list. 

Update

 As my time to leave for Uganda draws nearer, I have been working out a few details concerning my trip that I think you all should be aware of. First, the biggest obstacle I face is the travel itself. With COVID and political instability, getting to and from Uganda is a mess right now. I can't even begin the process of getting my visa yet as a result of the pandemic. Please, please, please pray for God to open up a big, wide door for me to get through when the time comes for me to leave. 

Secondly, I've learned more about what exactly I'll get to be doing once I arrive in Uganda. There is a local ministry in Kampala (the capital of Uganda and where I'll be staying for the majority of the time) called Wakisa Ministries. Wakisa Ministries' primary goal is to help and support teen girls in crisis pregnancy situations. Beyond Uganda and Wakisa Ministries have partnered together in the past, giving me the opportunity to serve with them and gain practical experience in this field, which I have felt called to for years. I also desire to gain practical experience in evangelism and will spend some time with another local ministry, Every Nation Kampala, learning the in's and out's of sharing the Gospel in Uganda. Despite working with these two other ministries, I will still be affiliated with Beyond Uganda and serving under their jurisdiction. However, they have made it clear to me that if I ever feel called to serve with another ministry, they will support me in whatever ways they can. After about six months in Uganda, I will reevaluate what exactly it is I want to be doing long term in Uganda and base my next six month off of that. 

I will be making return trips back to America. However the frequency of those trips will be determined by multiple factors, such as ease of travel, my visa requirements, and just my own personal mental health. 

To conclude, I ask that you begin praying for God's provision over this whole situation. There are many complications that make this move much more difficult than it would have been in previous years. However, God has never let me down before and I know He will guide me as I continue to follow Him.

The link below is of a webpage where you or someone you know can donate/keep track of my fundraising progress. 

Proverbs 16:3-Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. 

https://www.classy.org/campaign/abbys-internship/c309837

We Live by Faith

Sometimes I almost feel sick as I realize what I’m about to do. Sometimes I think to myself, am I really doing this? Then the sickening nerves diminish, and I reassure myself, yes, I really am doing this. I don’t know what my life in Uganda will look like. Sometimes I try to imagine it, but then I’m reminded that I can’t hear all of the sounds, smell all the smells, or feel the different temperatures that I’ll experience when I’m really there. I can’t imagine it. And I’m glad. I’m glad I don’t know the future, because if I did, would I still go? To be honest, I’m not sure. Life in Uganda is difficult and often times I forget that as I dream about the amazing things I’m going to experience. Thankfully, I can stand here in ignorance and pledge my life to God and the calling He’s given me without any fear. One day it will be hard though. One day I’ll cry myself to sleep. One day I’m not going to have enough energy to get out of my bed in the morning. One day I’m going to say something rude to someone I love and regret it terribly. One day I’m going to wonder if it’s all worth it. And I pray even now that I will respond to that question with an enthusiastic YES! 

So, am I scared? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. Do I sometimes wonder if I’ll even last ten days there before running back to America with tears in my eyes? Yes, I do. Will I still go despite these fears? Of course. And I pray daily that God will be my strength, because without Him, I have no doubt that I won’t last a second. He is the One who has gotten me this far and I know He will get me the rest of the way. 

2 Corinthians 5:7-For we live
by faith, not by sight.