The Key of Humility

Humility. Such a small word holding so much power. I think the answer between depression and joy lies in it. If one can but unlock the power it holds, nothing can defeat them.

I work with all kinds of people, talking to them, counseling them, teaching them, encouraging them, and they open up to me about all of the issues in their own lives. Sometimes they struggle with sexual sins, sometimes its financial, sometimes its anger issues. I always sit there and listen. Then I speak the truth to them, the painful truth. I remind them of what the bible says. And I encourage them to overcome. Then, I'll admit, sometimes I foolishly lean back in my chair and feel the lightness of self-comparison. I don't struggle with these things, I think. Sexual sin is so destructive. I cross my arms. I'm so proud of myself. That hasn't been my daily struggle like it is theirs, you know? On and on I muse, smiling to myself. Well done, Abby. You're so much better than everyone else. Day after day ticks by until I realize I have sunk into serious depression. I can hardly get out of bed in the mornings. I can hardly control my general annoyance for everyone. And then it hits me. Pride. I have become so self-centered and me-focused. And then humiliation as I realize this. And a counter attack to humiliation is more pride. Before I know it, I realize I am worse off than the fornicator. At least for them, they can see their sin clearly. But for me, I am trapped in a tornado of continuous, unnoticeable pride. Is it really that simple? Pride? I want to laugh. But then the icy cold fingers of fear start to run through my veins. This is a very serious sin. This is the sin that literally brought a curse down on all of humanity from the beginning of time. I want to destroy it, but then I remember the only way to do so is to die to myself. Not just today, but tomorrow also. And the day after that. Over and over again until the day of my literal death. This is a lot. It's overwhelming. How does one capture the essence of humility and self-forgetfulness? A key that unlocks the door to heaven on earth, yet the very key I seem to have misplaced. The only answer I can see is repentance. Daily, continuous repentance. Falling on my knees in prayer as I beg God to forgive me. Can God not cleanse the vilest sinner like me? Oh, what a reminder! We cannot compare our shortcomings with each other. My sin is not better or worse than yours. Rather than weighing the cost of one sin over another, simply repent! Stop wasting time by playing games with different fires. They all burn. And the sooner we can realize that the freer, more loving, more compassionate, and purer we will all be. Perhaps it's true, and I have seen it first hand, some sins will burn more than others. Some scorch, some scar, and some set fire even to those around it, but one thing remains the same. They all burn. And more than that, they all will take you to hell (Romans 6:23) unless you turn from them and come running into the open arms of Jesus Christ. And, my dear reader, I am happy to inform and remind you that those arms are always open. You have no excuse not to run full speed into them. I have no excuse not to as well. So, what are we waiting for?